Feeling a little sentimental I suppose

After finally catching up on some blogs, I suppose I should catch up on my own. Seems it's been a couple of months. Things have been busy around the house lately... Thanksgiving came and went. Had a good time, ran the turkey trot that morning and cooked and ate the rest of the day. My good friend even came down to celebrate with us. Robby enjoyed his first Thanksgiving meal, including turkey!

So now it's almost Xmas time. The tree is up. The lights are up. All baking for friends is done and mailed. All Xmas cards, too. All gifts are purchased and wrapped, including mine and Brad's. For once, we're on top of our game! I'm glad for Robby this year; now I'll be able to actually enjoy Xmas.

Speaking of the kid. He has grown so much. He's really tall. And happy. So glad he's a happy baby. It's so strange how much our lives have changed. Well, they have and they haven't I should say. Not sure how to explain it. Basically every thing we do and feel we just add 1. I still remember what my life was like before, and I wouldn't change a thing. I know how my life is now and I wouldn't change a thing. It makes me look forward to what my life will be in the future. We're having a lot of fun with our son. He does something new every day. Every day I look forward to what he does, learns or discovers.

beep beep

I had my first post-pregnancy nightmare last night. It scared the shit out of me. And of course, it was about my son. I can't imagine losing a child, well, apparently, I can dream it. It would be worse than losing a parent, which sucks, both times. I hate the fear part of being a parent. All I can hope is that he grows up to be happy and make good decisions.

On to more pleasant things. The kid is pushing 5 months now. And what a crazy 5 months it's been. Lots have happened all around. He's rolling over now and reaching for things and interested in the world around him. Does all of the typical baby things he's supposed to do. He's eating solid foods, and with the exception of his rice cereal, I've made it all. And 90% of his diet has been organic. Soon, I'll be growing his food as well. Right now, I've started pumpkins, basil, cucumbers and cantaloupe. I'm not holding my breath for the cantaloupe though.

Getting used to not having Yoshi around has been hard actually. It's weird going on walks and whatnot. Maybe I should change my route. The house had a really bad foundation leak, ruining our new floors (the same ones causing us to get rid of said dog). The leak itself has been repaired, so next have to find some one to repair the walls, and then have home depot come out for the 5th time and repair an entire room and hallway worth of flooring.

I'm working and that's been an adjustment. I hate working nights. For me, it leads to insomnia, drinking and poor eating. Fried egg quesadillas. Any way, the work is easy, but sometimes there is a little drama. It pays the bills and keeps bug out of daycare.

Looking forward to Halloween. I think we're going to be the "big candy bar" house.

pump and go

We have lots of things going on. One big thing is that I started working again. Nights. I like that I get to spend all day with DS, but as I trade off, I see DH in passing. That's going to take some getting used to. Basically, I have about 10min to tell him when DS ate and slept last, then off to work.

DS is getting so big, about to be 4 months in a couple of days. Holy shit, I can't believe it's been 4 months already. It has gone by fast. He's really active and playful and chill. Which I'm glad for. Actually, in a few days marks a few things: 1 year ago I POAS and found out I was preg, the same day 15 years ago my dad passed away. Whom DS is name after. And marks exactly one month until my birthday.

We no longer have our dog, and that makes me sad. It's hard to go into the backyard and not get a little nostalgic when I see her toys. I guess I need to pick those up and donate them. Her chair was carted off the other day and that made me sad, too. She's so much better where she's at now(a farm, not dead), so that's good.

just some stuff

I'm excited that we all made it 3 months! We seem to have a lot going on at all times. I'm looking for a job. Our a/c broke, but it's now fixed. It did, however, leak on our floors. So now, we need more floor work done. I have a job interview the day after tomorrow, but no babysitter. Brad has to work from home. Mental note: find reliable babysitter. One we trust. Wonder what the going rate is these days. Any way, the softball game tomorrow night. MIL visit this weekend... It goes on and on. I'm doing alright I think. I've been through worse right?

Things I'm looking forward to: Robby's official weight at next doc appt., a baking job, Halloween, house progress, new home for my doggy. Things I'm not looking forward to: Robby's weight(the boy can eat), working and being away from milestones, having to go costume shopping, paying for said house progress, and finding a home for my dog. Sigh.

I'm struggling with the thought of her living somewhere else, whether it's a shelter or friend's house. I'm going to miss her even though she escapes, costs us a lot of money, and put me into labor. Heh, love that crazy dog.

hope and a hey

I feel I must keep everyone up. Or maybe post for my own sanity. It is a diary of sorts, isn't it?

Things are trucking along here. I'm starting to look for work, so the daycare issue is on my mind again. I need to work, but the thought of day care still scares the shit out of me. Especially now that lil man is more alert.

Baby's doing well. Really well. We ghetto weighed him yesterday, and concluded he weighs over 14lbs. Which is big. He looks a lot like me now. Not sure if that's a good thing or not. He's becoming more and more interactive every day. I guess it's just something that some one would have to experience themselves to truly appreciate. I still think, overall, I got pretty lucky. Good pregnancy and good kid. Ha ha so far. Who knows, he could be a little shit later on. Which is highly likely, he is related to me.

sweet melodies

Wow, just realized it's been over a month since my last post.

Not sure the best way to organize thoughts on what happened since then either. So maybe a pro/con telling...

Pros: Robby smiles. Not just when he's pooping or farting. He smiles a lot, and at me and his dad. He's usually smiles when he gets up in the morning and it just warms your heart. He even laughs when I sing him silly songs that make no sense. He sleeps when I sing to him 99 bottles of beer. Both soothing and educational. He also likes 3 Little Birds and Take Me Out to the Ball Game. He's now sleeping 4 to 5 hours at night, and shorter naps during the day. It's really fun interacting with him. So glad he's a happy baby. At least, so far.

Cons: He eats a lot. A lot. This is a pro as far as health goes. Con when it comes to being hungry when I need to make dinner. And boy, can he cry when he's hungry. It's sad to see tears. Also good and bad. Same thing with sweat, he sweats now. Cluster feeding. This happens during growth spurts, which are starting to get more spaced out. I'm tired but not exhausted. Years spent as an insomniac helped trained me for such a task. I have learned to survive on little sleep and still function.

Overall stress level: not too high. I thought things would be a lot worse. Don't get me wrong, some days are really, really frustrating. But so far, good days/times out-weigh the bad. We've moved him to the nursery. It's harder for me than it is for him I think. Separation issues. I've started looking for work, so I'm sure that will add some stress. I'll be sure to post updated blogs on that. I hate to put him in daycare, as I knew I would. Looking for that miracle job that lets me be with him and husband. Guessing it doesn't exist.

Holy crap, just did spell check and the only thing wrong was 'that'll' guessing not a proper contraction. Too bad it doesn't do grammar/word misuse.

lil tinkler

That is his unofficial nickname. Alas, after months of waiting and 14 hours of labor, he's here. In the flesh, all 8 pounds, well 10 now, of him. I have never been through so many emotions in a 10 months stretch! So labor wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Actually, when it's said and done, the whole process isn't as bad as I thought it would be. My water broke while looking for my escape artist dog. Actually, while walking home from failed attempt at finding her. We went to the doc to check it out, and it was indeed amniotic fluid. "Well, you're having a baby today, so what you need to do is go the hospital next door." That was how it was put actually. Luckily, we had packed and brought our stuff just in case. Got to the hospital, labored for about 6 or 7 hours, painfully. Was glad to have my music and Brad there. The doc broke my water officially, and then I got my epidural. Another 7 hours later, we got to the pushing part. That kind of sucks. Some pain (forgot to push pain med button), but mostly pressure. Any way, an hour later, out came Robert. His cord was wrapped around his neck, so doc had to cut fast. Brad had the task of telling me the sex, so after a few seconds, he was in shock of all he'd just seen (!), he told me it was a boy! Our son, had finally arrived! I am so in love with this kid. Of course, while still in the hospital, he peed on me twice, and has many times since. And crapped, and spit up on me. On my face. But whatever, I still love him and would do anything for him.

time keeps on tickin', into the future

5 days to go until estimated due date. I hate that that date could be off by 2 weeks. This wait is driving me nuts. Not much really to blog about. Some hormonal ups and downs. The heat and wait is kind of making me bitchy towards the man, but I try to keep in check. Sort of slowing down on the baking and nesting as well. I'm packed, the nursery is done, my play list is finished, one car has a car seat. Just have to add kid and stir. Oh, I've decided to see how long I could go without an epidural. May bite me in the ass.

to those before me

Two weeks to go now. Could be as much as four, but there's no way I'm waiting that long! Getting more and more anxious about the pain, about being some one's mother. Got my first Mother's day card in the mail yesterday. From my MIL, made me cry a little bit. Of course, most things do, comes with the territory. Reminded me of my mom. I miss her. I'm getting ready to make my sister's mother's day gift actually. I remember making my mom stuff when I was little to buying her stuff when I got older, to sending her special flowers from where ever it was that I was living. When she passed, I picked it up with my sister, flowers, unusual ones. To all those moms out there, rock on, no matter where you are.

21 days

Until my estimated due date. I have my moments of panic and I have my moments of calm. Same with the husband. I know we'll get through it. We're going to be parents. I'm going to be in a lot of pain. Oh well, been through worse. Hmm, maybe not this time. I've already started dilating, so that's progress. The nursery is set up. The floors are almost done, finishing today, hopefully. Just got news, mid-post, no floors today due to installer medical emergency... Yeah, we have weird luck.

Had a good past weekend. MIL came down for a visit. Helped us finish out nursery. Went to brunch buffet which was badassly scrumptious. Making my last few baking ventures to ship and then I'm going on maternity leave. It's getting harder to stand for long periods of time in my hot kitchen. Oh and went to a pig roast. Things roasted on a pit are fantastic I must say. That is all.

sittin' here watching the wheels go 'round and round...

Today marks the official 36 week mark. 37 weeks is considered full term, so yikes. A month to go until EDD, another yikes. The house is starting to come together. I'm happy with the nursery so far, and after this weekend, it should all be set up for Pokey. All we have to do is wait. Oh how long it is going to be... Strangely, most of my "nesting" involves food. I feel the need to bake everyone one last thing before I can't bake for a few months. And then of course, preparing lots of food to be frozen. Baby gets hiccups a lot, and sometimes during the night. Funny, I can see my belly move with every one.

Anniversary went well. We sort of celebrated twice since the actual day was during the week. The weekend we went out to eat and went to a fuckin' bad ass rock opera. During the week, we grilled some brats and had our traditional Red Stripe. Well, I had a couple of sips. Did the gift exchange, and both of us were surprised! Not too many big plans coming up. Some in-law visits, but that's it. Now to sit back and wait.

the hunt is on

Oh, a small tidbit: I'm catching up on blogs, too. My bro-in-law and his Mrs. just celebrated their 1st anniversary. Kudos. Any way, that reminded me that ours is coming up, actually, a week from today. I should start by saying I get complete joy giving Brad gifts, the hunt for, the creativity, the surprise, whatever. So, anyway, we decided before our first WA that we would go with traditional gifts since we had an nontraditional wedding. But for fun, alternate it with modern gifts. So basically every other year we switch. Oh, and we're always saving money for some huge thing: wedding, house, baby... so we place budgets on the gift. I was trad. the first, he was modern. Anyway, both of ours this year are leather. With a $15 budget. Oh the fun I will have.

rollin', rollin', rollin', keep those doggies rollin'...

My dog is being super whinny today, and it's annoying. I'm pretty sure we've spoiled her. We've officially made her an outside dog, so she's having trouble adjusting. Plus, she spent the weekend at a friend's house, inside, so now we have to start over with her being outside.

Have lots to write about, as I have not in maybe 2 weeks, but for some reason, don't feel like it. So a brief recap: floors are done! they look fantastic. Brad is a year older! Rebka's visit was super fun, and some debauchery managed to occur... Both baby showers went well. Started putting the nursery together, and it looks good. Good to see everyone before we're knee-deep in baby. Hoping for one last bbq/party or something. Ok, time for pizza and errands.

course by course, one by one...

As the day draws nearer, I get a little more anxious. I'm worried about the pain, the cost, the upbringing, and well, all of it really. And then it kicks, rolls, hiccups. I just tell myself that I just have to take it one day at a time. There's a human in there, in my belly. I still can't believe it. I think it's finally real to Brad. He heard the baby's heart beat through my belly for the first time. He was amazed. I wish I had a picture of his facial expression. Everyday, we both say to each other, we're going to be parents soon. I'm still fascinated by the science of it. It's weird that this kid, or embryo, or fetus or whatever, fits in this tiny little place for so long. I'm hoping it has the best of us combined. Everything, mentally and biologically. I hope it's a better version of us, I really do. I think of my biological parents and what they looked like, what kind of personality they had. I hope, and going to assume that, I was the best of them as well, at least biologically. I'm pretty sure my personality is a result of my environment. And I think that I'm the best of my mom and dad. For all their strengths and weaknesses, I think I got the most out of them while I could, and I hope that they would be proud of that.

it's that time again

I have to start with writing being sick sucks. Pregnant or not. I have had a fucking sinus infection now for two weeks. Friday, while at the dog park, my ears started clogging up. By the time I got home it they were in the worst pain. Of course, all the doctor's offices are closed leaving me with clinic on other side of town or... the dreaded emergency room. I opted for toughing it out. That was the longest night. Maybe 4 hours of sleep. Finally broke down and went to clinic on Saturday. Ear infection. In both ears. What adult gets an ear infection? And WHO gets it in both ears? I know who, me, 7 months pregnant and all. Now, 4 days later, I can't hear for shit. They hurt less, but I can still feel this throbbing. Anyway, enough bitching.

Baby news: Baby is doing good. Had a good sonogram today. Baby is head down and weighing in at almost 5lbs. Fluid around baby looked normal as well. 8 weeks to go. Starting to get more and more anxious. The floors should be installed soon, and then we can work on putting the nursery together. It would be nice to have some quiet time between then and when baby arrives. To squeeze in last chance to... stuff. I'm hoping for another outdoorsy venture at least. Which equates to trips to the stinkin' dog park.

playing with my legos

So, a lot of stuff going on it seems. This week has been busy. Had a doctor's appt. that went ok. Got some strange news about needing another sonogram, not to be alarmed, but as a precaution. On the plus side, we get to see Pokey one more time before delivery. Got to see some family on a surprise visit. Picked a daycare that is both available and not scary! Baking today for a bake sale! Getting our floors delivered tomorrow (making today last day to roller skate, which will be done shortly), so that they can be installed in a couple of weeks. Saturday, I'm going to a SHOW!! Yay!! Sunday, I spy brunch. Again. Anyway, just a brief look.

Ok, thought for the week: I found out the other day that a friend of mine is embarking on a journey, it's not really my business to post their business on my blog, but I just want to give them props. I think it's truly amazing. I don't know, could be the hormones, could be the photo project, but it's been on my mind, and I think it's fucking awesome. I am a believer in what goes around comes around.

Claritin induced candy

I'm bored and I'm sick, so I made these today. Supposed to be Almond Joys, but I tweaked it a lil' bit.

More like... Mounds with almond garnish? Coconut truffles? Either way, they taste good.

and so it begins

Well, this week marks 10 weeks to go. Getting anxious and uncomfortable. The last few days I've just been hot. Some of it is the weather, which I'm not complaining about. I'm complaining that I cannot take off my clothes fast enough when I get home. Oh, and my cravings have increased somewhat. Not complaining there either, quite enjoying that actually, I mean it's food. Mmm, grilled hot dogs. See, they're not even unheard of. On the downside I will not be able to hike, camp or sxsw, and that makes me a lil sad. Soon enough.

Had a productive weekend. Brad put up the closet in the nursery (yay husbands!!) and it looks great. (pics soon, I promise) We also now have functioning blinds in the kitchen. We paid for our floors, and installation should be in the next few weeks or so.

Got to see my ex coworkers from Mars yesterday; that was a lot of fun. I'm hoping to make another round one last time before pokey comes.

Oh, trying to get good video of pokey moving around. It's kind of hard, he must know we're recording and stops moving, already being difficult.

glittery nail polish

I'm back from my weekend in Dallas. Had a good time. Got to see my nieces. They are little characters for sure. 8, 6, and 4. The two youngest were quite fascinated with pokey and kept asking questions like why is he naked and what does he eat. The best is the look on their faces when pokey would kick and move around. They kept wanting to touch it. I like how kids are quizzical like that, but not quite grasping the concept. The oldest even asked if I was going to love it more.

Anyway, went to friend's birthday party on Saturday. Had a lot of fun. Got to see a couple of friends I hadn't seen in a while. Had a sip or two of beer, but mostly lots of snacks! It was a bad weekend for "dieting", but oh well, I was on "vacation" right?

Had a doctor's appointment today. The good news is that I don't have gestational diabetes. The bad news is that this baby is actually going to be a big baby. I guess next appointment we found out just how big and why. Other than that, some slight anemia, all else is good. Baby was quite active for us while listening to his heartbeat. Kicked the Doppler a few times and wouldn't stop moving. As uncomfortable as that gets sometimes (and due to be worse), that may be my favorite part. Every day, I get to feel this lil human inside me rollin' around kicking, punching, hiccuping whatever. It's pretty cool. I kind of feel like a kid, just amazed that a person is growing inside of a person, wondering what it's doing in there.

my to do list

things to do before kid gets here:

lots of house crap
camping one last time
hiking one last time
sxsw (for once, I DON'T HAVE TO WORK)
organize recipes
organize folks' pics
train yoshi not to be a spaz

12 weeks to get it all done

the sxsw thing actually bothers me. the one time I actually don't have to work, I may be physically incapable of going. I've never been. hear it's not worth it, but just once, I'd like to experience it. I live here, it's like a right of passage.

orange drink

Got a lot of house stuff done this weekend. I painted a bit of trim (don't tell my dr.), and cleaned up a lot of stuff. There's dust/dirt/hair everywhere. Can't wait for the floors. I'm nesting big time it seems. Brad finished half of the attic, with several trips to home depot. We finally have some stuff up there stored. Got the crib and dresser home as well.

Went to ye ol' Crown and Anchor. We reminisced about how we would drink a pitcher each maybe 3-4 times a week. This time, he had just 2 pints, and I had my Kalibur and IBC. What a way we've come. The burgers are still fantastic though, never fails to deliver! I'm sure we'll be bringing jr. there soon enough.div>

Had a sonogram this week. The baby is indeed measuring big, by 2 weeks. Also, it weighs 3lbs already. And...has a big head. I'm so doomed. The downside though is that baby could have gestational diabetes, which I get tested for this week. Or, it could just be a big baby! Sorry guys, no care packages, that's where I graze the most on sweets in the mean time. Go figure, a pastry chef with gestational diabetes, maybe my tragic flaw.

Separately, I'm worried about pootie butt. My cat, she turns 10 this year, and is losing her hair. Not sure if she can handle a baby in the house.

gripes

I have a couple today.

Night sweats suck.
Expanding pelvises suck.
Waking up just to roll over suck.
Waking up to pee sucks.
Leg cramps suck.

They tell you to get a lot sleep while you can, but how can I when I'm being woken up by night sweats, sore hips and legs, rotating the basketball and peeing all the time?

Ok, it was a few gripes. That is all.

snippets of thought

I realized today, or maybe over the last 6 months that my life is defined by specific points or instances in time. Most of which were negative and led to other bigger problems. But of course, with out those, I wouldn't be who I am. I'm glad, however, to know that this baby is a positive one and will hopefully lead to more positive things. One of those circle of life things maybe. Meaning: I'm glad it's not about me any more. I think I'm ready. Hopefully...

Recap

Well, it's Monday, President's day. I wonder what the current president does on President's day. To him, is it like mother's/father's day? Did he get a tie or a mug from the kiddos? Hmm, just wondering.

So the weekend was good. Saturday, finally got some house stuff done, oh and got our crib. Sorta, it's coming in 2 weeks! Saturday night, ate at home, and went to improv comedy down town and then to a bar. Two things I've noticed: I can't run across a street with cars coming like I used to and going to bed at 3am still sucks. It was a good night. Sunday, Brad's mom came into town. We mostly hung out and went to Costco. Oh, and tried a new burger joint near by called Mighty Fine, and was indeed fine. Today, I had my teeth cleaned(no issues), she left and our house got measured for new floors! Yes, finally, we are getting our floors. Soon. And... we got our smaller trash bin, score one for the globe, perhaps two for us, we're getting bamboo floors.

Shallow Belly Buttons

We've been kind of busy over the last week it seems. The office is slowly becoming the nursery. I took apart the closet and repainted it. We just have to get shelves put in. We took out the desk, and are slowly getting rid of all the other crap that's been piling up. I think I'll take before and after pics. Picked out our floors over the weekend as well, and have an appt. for installers to start measuring here pretty soon! Finally, floors so close I could taste them, or walk on them I should say. Went hiking over the weekend, too. That was awesome. Went to Pedernales Falls State Park.

It was a little tiring, but fun. Discovered that my dog likes to poo in rivers... She had a good time as well, and it still recovering from all the excitement. Hopefully, going to squeeze in a camping trip before pokey comes, but Brad is worried about the baby. He's protective like that.

Baby's doing good. Had a check up today, and all seems well. The only thing that was off was that the baby's measuring kind of big, so we might be having a big baby. Brad was a big baby, so maybe it was inevitable. A week away from being 2/3rds done! The baby moves a lot, and throws some pretty good punches, hard enough so that Brad can feel them, and almost uncomfortable to me. Our excitement is growing along with my fear or active labor, especially hearing that it might be a big ass baby!

unmotivated

I have all these things I want to do today, but I'm feeling unmotivated. It was busy weekend. I actually got a mani-pedi for the 3rd time ever. Probably be the last, not really into that kind of thing. Tried a new place for brunch, that was ok. As much as people bitch (myself included), I like Texas weather. It was 75 yesterday, in the winter. It's "cold" in the mornings to remind us it's still winter. I hate that on trash days, there's always loose trash in the yards and street.

Baby update: Getting bigger, sore stomach and night leg cramps, but nothing too bad. About 2 weeks to go until next sonogram, so super excited! Both of my emailed preg updates were about hemorrhoids, so now I'm worried I going to get them at any moment or something! Don't worry, I won't post updates on that. We put off the daycare hunt for a couple of weeks for Brad's work. Slowly working on baby's room. Slowly.

yowsas

Well, we just got back from our first daycare tour. To me, the concept of daycare is strange. So is being a stay at home mom. Well, not as much as daycare. The place we looked at today was over a grand a month by the way. It's actually one of the more expensive ones. The thought of another person taking care of, spending time with, my child actually scares the shit out of me. I'm sure they're nice people. But I just don't know them. Brad and I both had the same feeling when we left. You must really have to love kids to do that kind of job. Some of the women today just had this beat down look to them. Hmph. Well, the search will continue. I hope we're doing the right thing for our child.

The things I shall eat

Today I had a bowl of oat meal with bananas, walnuts, brown sugar, and butter. It was very tasty, and full of good for you stuff. The stuff I need. Thinking about lunch now.

So far, no issues with the baby. It moves a lot. Sometimes it's uncomfortable, but at least I know it's there. I'm getting more and more anxious as my due date nears. I'm also getting bigger and bigger! Some days I feel good and accepting of it, and some days, well, it just kinda sucks. Oh well, I blame it on the hormones. I had to buy maternity clothes, and know I'm not done. My boobs have gone up 3 sizes, and my milk hasn't even come in yet! I use my ipod to let pokey listen to music, and s/he seems to respond well to it. Likes sir mix a lot. Or maybe when I sing it, who knows. Any way, I'm really excited about this. Really, haven't been this happy since I got married! I like these lil checks and balances that get thrown my way. I guess that's life. I'm glad to know it's going to mean more now.

I think I have my unemployment straightened out finally. It only took a month! I feel for the rest of my coworkers who are still struggling with it. On to lunch.