course by course, one by one...

As the day draws nearer, I get a little more anxious. I'm worried about the pain, the cost, the upbringing, and well, all of it really. And then it kicks, rolls, hiccups. I just tell myself that I just have to take it one day at a time. There's a human in there, in my belly. I still can't believe it. I think it's finally real to Brad. He heard the baby's heart beat through my belly for the first time. He was amazed. I wish I had a picture of his facial expression. Everyday, we both say to each other, we're going to be parents soon. I'm still fascinated by the science of it. It's weird that this kid, or embryo, or fetus or whatever, fits in this tiny little place for so long. I'm hoping it has the best of us combined. Everything, mentally and biologically. I hope it's a better version of us, I really do. I think of my biological parents and what they looked like, what kind of personality they had. I hope, and going to assume that, I was the best of them as well, at least biologically. I'm pretty sure my personality is a result of my environment. And I think that I'm the best of my mom and dad. For all their strengths and weaknesses, I think I got the most out of them while I could, and I hope that they would be proud of that.